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ID:<- Cou014 ->
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Tags:sensitivity
needless
diary

Toko

There are many people who have had experienced kanashibari, but we don’t call them “sick.”

Lain

But…

Toko

Hmm… there might be only a few people who have experienced what you have. Still, I don’t think you should be called “sick” just because of your experiences. A lot of things can happen to a person while she’s young and impressionable.

Lain

But I’m scared and I hate this.

Toko

What are the scariest parts of your dreams?

Lain

I start to feel that I don’t need myself. I feel that I am an unneeded thing.

Toko

You “don’t need” yourself?

Lain

I feel that I am being told to come back because I’m unneeded.

Toko

Come back? Come back where?

Lain

To myself.

Toko

Hmm. This is hard to understand. You want you to come back to yourself?

Lain

I don’t know. But for a person like me to be me, and to touch body, feels like I’m being torn…

Toko

(interrupting) And it’s painful?

Lain

It isn’t painful, but it’s frightening.

Toko

I see. Does this happen when you’re asleep?

Lain

Probably.

Toko

Probably? This happens sometimes when you’re not dreaming?

Lain

I don't know. Sometimes it happens when I’m just sitting by myself, and sometimes when I’m talking to my friends.

Toko

Tell me what happens when you’re not alone. This happens when you’re just having conversations?

Lain

Yes. While I’m just talking, it suddenly…

Toko

How do you notice it? Do your friends call out to you?

Lain

Suddenly…

Toko

Is there something that triggers it?

Lain

I was afraid, and I felt better after staying motionless for a while.

Toko

Can you explain what it felt like, or what you saw? Could you draw a picture?

Lain

No, I can’t.

Toko

I see… Oh! We have to end. I’m sorry, Lain. I have to go out and take care of some things today. I’m sorry to have to stop right in the middle of our appointment. But it’s good for now that you can’t see these things. I think that what you experience probably has something to do with kanashibari. I’ll do some research on it until next month. That’ll be my homework. Your homework will be keeping a diary.

Lain

A diary?

Toko

I want you to write about the things you did during the day, and what you thought about. You don’t have to show it to me. Just write what you want. I used to keep a diary when I was your age.

Lain

But…

Toko

You don't want to? It can be really interesting to look back on the things you write in your diary. We can be forgetful, so it can help you remember things, too.

Lain

That will cure me?

Toko

Hmm. That probably doesn’t have anything to do with it. It can’t hurt, though. I’ll explain more carefully next month. I don’t mind if you don’t want to keep a diary. I went and bought you a diary book, though. See? It’s cute, isn’t it? I found it when I went shopping last week, and I thought it would be a nice present for you.

Lain

Thank you.

Toko

But don’t force yourself. You don't have to keep a diary just because I bought you one. Feel free to write in the diary if you want to, though. Well I guess we’ll wrap it up, then. Make sure you’re not forgetting anything. I’ll walk out to the corner with you.


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